By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
God I need to hump something, right now.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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