It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
