I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Randomize
