My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
