I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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