i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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