you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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