doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
