please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
so let's talk penis.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
