he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
