Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
nutella sex= disaster
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
