sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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