Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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