ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
We left the knife in your bed.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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