I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
this will be a night to untag.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
