Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I have tasted many bathrooms
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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