I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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