he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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