remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
