I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
