Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
