doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize