I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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