What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize