Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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