talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
