oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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