jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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