she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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