Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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