Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis