u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
i think i just lost a toe
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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