she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
