i barfeds in our rink
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me