Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.