I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
you inspire me to be a worse person
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.