I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.