when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I love you.
Bad choice
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
