Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
