We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
