i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
