Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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