at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize