this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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