Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
