dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
