My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
