i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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