just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
