Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
