if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize