Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Randomize