you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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