i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
