You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
