she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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