Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i think i have two assholes
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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