look no pants
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
