You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
