The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
