My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
