big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
