you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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