i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I party with great urgency now.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
