I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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